Reflections on life in Paris.

After an exhausting, yet amazing, two weeks in Paris, I find myself back home alone in my familiar, comfortable, tiny apartment in Bonn. My last morning in Paris I had coffee with my postdoc supervisor at Columbia, grabbed a sandwich at a Lebanese place around the corner from the IHP and sat one last time on the steps of the Pantheon looking out at the Eiffel Tower in the distance. This was how I had eaten many a lunch over the last two weeks, often surrounded by friends and colleagues. As I sat there alone watching a group of family and friends gathering together to celebrate a wedding happening at the courthouse across the plaza, I had an empty feeling in my stomach from recognizing I would not see many of the people I had spent the last two weeks with again for some time. Having been surrounded by old friends for two weeks, it was a bit difficult to swallow how lonely I felt at that moment.

So, my time in Paris was spent mostly at the institute starting and completing various projects, discussing various aspects of interesting projects with old friends and new acquaintances, writing and editing various drafts, giving talks, etc.. However, I also had the chance to do some wandering around the fifth district looking for good cheese and wine to have with dinner, trying various meals at some great restaurants including delicious French and Moroccan food, strolling through the delightfully cool Paris evenings both with collections of people and completely alone, enjoying some Armagnac with a small group of friends and basically getting as much life as I could out of those few moments I was not in the office working on math. The evenings and meals were mostly beautiful, the scenery and general atmosphere breathtaking and the people (myself excluded) looking incredibly stylish as one might expect.

In general, it was all rather overwhelming and in truth coming home was a bit of a relief. I slept most of Saturday night and quite a bit on Sunday with a little work interspersed between naps. It was nice to be home and able to relax. However, now that I have recovered a bit, it is kind of sad to be removed from the experience and so far from so many old friends. Fortunately, my good friends in Bonn were free for dinner and a nice long walk Sunday night, which was a pleasant way to wind down the weekend.

This two weeks coming to a close for me means my time in Europe is winding down. It has been a rather long year, and this feels truly like my home. I have felt this sinking feeling of leaving behind something so familiar and comfortable, as well as a great anticipation for a new set of challenges and projects, plus the chance to actually restart my life. A chance to reconnect to my wife, play with my dog at night, cook dinner, host friends and generally live the family life I miss and have always dreamed of having. I know this life will not come easily at first given the two years I have spent on hiatus from it. Plus, I know a large part of me will miss the solitude, the time to think and write, the trips to Spain and Paris. However, maybe being settled will give me the time and money to actually have a hobby again, find a part of myself connecting to something outside of my head and my job.